An Introduction to Driving in Kansas City
by Bill Kinnersley
Most of us live and work and shop in
different places, and therefore spend a considerable amount of time each day
driving from point A to point B and back again.
If getting you from A to B is all that driving accomplishes, the time
spent is largely a waste. But as a
certain amount of driving is a daily necessity, its a natural thing to want to
make it as pleasant an experience as possible.
That's where the camaraderie of Kansas City comes in. Those other drivers have the same goal in
mind to help you enjoy yourself.
Driving does not have to be a chore
if we make it a game. There are many
other cars on the road, all going more or less in the same direction. And we will all get where we are going at
approximately the same time, regardless.
But in the meantime, let's have some fun! Done properly, driving can become a social
event, with interesting activities to pursue along the way. Remember what we did as kids to pass time in
the car? We used to count cows and
horses. You can still find some of these
in Kansas City, but not sufficient number.
A better idea is to have contests with the other cars. Don't worry if you aren't especially
creative, because you won't have to make up the rules yourself. The other drivers already have it all worked
out, and will gladly show you.
Light Traffic
To begin with, there is the Speed
Game. Now I don't mean going as fast as
possible that's pretty pointless there's a lot more to it than that. After all, some people like to drive fast and
some people like to drive slow, but the best thing
about the Speed Game is that everyone can play.
Pick a number whatever number you like. 67?
72? Fine, anything will do. The object is to drive perpetually at this
speed and try to convince the other drivers by your actions that they should be
going at this same speed also. The Speed
Game has its own terminology. Drivers
going slower than you are the "idiots," whereas those going faster
than you are the "maniacs."
(By
the way, I should mention that those signs marked "Speed Limit" have
no relevance to what we're talking about here.
They are historical markers, placed to commemorate an obscure tradition
from former days.)
Ok,
as you drive along at your chosen speed, keep an attentive watch out both the
front and back, noting whether other cars are gradually getting closer to you
or farther away. In this manner, a
scoring opportunity can be anticipated and planned for.
From
time to time, drivers will encounter each other going at different speeds, and
here is where the fun comes in. In the
following description, let the faster and slower drivers be denoted A and B
respectively. A's objective is to make
it clear that driver B is a road hog. For
example this can be done by blowing by him in the other lane, on the right if
possible, swerving immediately to cut back in front. The role of driver B, on the other hand, is
to be a genuine road hog, slowing down even more (or at least tapping
the brakes just enough to make it seem so.)
B's tactic is particularly effective if, due to the proximity of other
cars, there is momentarily no room for A to pass. Faced with this situation, driver A should
charge up behind B, delaying his application of brakes until the last
moment. A's goal now is to get as close
as possible to B's rear bumper while maintaining speed. B will pretend not to notice, but all other
drivers on the road will surely notice, and register varying degrees of
approval or disapproval, which is A's score.
The
next point is very important to understand, and can often be a source of
confusion for the beginner. At no
time should either A or B sound the horn.
The entire game must be played in silence. Beeping is rude and cowardly, and any driver
who does so loses by default.
Once
you've mastered the basic steps, it's time to move on to three-car
interactions. Suppose A overtakes B, who
is at the same time overtaking C. A, of
course, should endeavor to prevent B from passing C. Several possible tactics present themselves,
and A's choice depends on an accurate psychological evaluation of B. The simplest method is to catch B by
surprise, sneaking swiftly up behind him as B comes up behind C, and moving to
the left lane alongside B just before he thinks to do so himself. Swift and effective, but low in point value.
On
the other hand, if A is willing to bet that B can be intimidated, he may choose
to move into the left hand lane early in his approach. B may lack the will to challenge, remaining
in the right lane. A should pull even
and then reduce speed, leaving B bottled up behind C. Continuing to match Cs speed for several
miles, A watches both other drivers for signs of aggravation, possibly scoring
many points before moving on.
A
is taking a certain amount of risk with this approach if he is wrong in his
evaluation, B will rise to the occasion, moving to the left in front of A. Now the tables have been turned, since A is
the one who must slow down and be scored against.
For
Speed Game experts, an alternative tactic presents itself. A times carefully his approach, and just as B
moves to the left lane to pass C, A threads the needle between them. Although over in a
heartbeat, this memorable encounter carries a high degree of difficulty and is
therefore weighted accordingly.
In all cases, it is not the accomplishment of the maneuver which matters
most, but the degree of finesse displayed.
Rush Hour
The
speed game is most suitable for light traffic.
When the traffic density increases, such as during rush hour, cars are
forced to slow down and maintain a fairly constant speed and spacing. Here another game comes into play, known as
Lane Change. Rather than individual
competition, this game emphasizes teamwork.
All
the cars in a given lane comprise a team.
The objective is now to prevent drivers on the other team from entering
your lane. In particular, your job as
team member is to keep an eye on the car next to you. Try to pace that car exactly, matching every
speedup or slowdown. This is especially
necessary if the other driver is signaling.
Not to overemphasize the obvious, but signaling is the mark of a
beginner. An experienced Kansas City
driver will never signal for a lane change, as it is a dead giveaway of
intentions. To be most effective, a lane
change should come as a total surprise, being essentially complete before the
other driver has had a chance to react.
Particularly
as you both approach an offramp where the other
driver wishes to get off, he will become increasingly
desperate to change lanes, although of course trying to conceal that fact. Now be aware you should not attempt to
prevent him from exiting. That would be
malicious and even somewhat dangerous.
Remember this is all friendly competition. What the spirit of the game does demand is that
you make it difficult, giving him an opportunity to demonstrate his driving
skill. Ideally he will be forced to
brake and swerve behind you into the exit ramp at the last possible moment. Perfect execution of this maneuver requires
precise timing on the part of both participants. If there are other drivers nearby, their
approval will be evident. But even if
there are not, good driving is its own reward.
If
the traffic density is high enough, another tactic becomes possible. Maintain a spacing with the car in front of
you that is just slightly too short for another car to squeeze in. You should know the reason by now. If you momentarily let down your guard and
drift back aways, someone in the adjacent lane will
likely notice the fact and dart in front of you. He will do so even if he does not need to be
in that lane, since it will present too good a scoring opportunity for him to
pass up. One car more in front of you is
not that much, but here's what's going to happen next that driver will then
slow down and let several of his teammates in front of you also. And as a result all the drivers behind you
know that you have let them, and your entire team, down.